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You’re Hosting Thanksgiving!

TAG! You’re IT!

 You’ve “volunteered”, you’ve been “elected”,

“It’s your turn.”  

You’re Hosting Thanksgiving!

    For all of our married life it was my ex that did most of the cooking and for ALL of the holidays. My literal "Soup to Nuts Nazi" NEVER consulted with me on menu and pretty much banned me from the kitchen ("Why did I give him the boot, you ask?").  

    My Thanksgiving holiday role was as "staff" and party planner which meant that I was responsible for issuing the invites through clean up (all the while stoking the fireplace, pumping enough heat and throwing blankets on my 70+ year old father,   up from Florida visiting the New Jersey tundra.)  

    These days as a single mom, when I'm not just a pretty hostess-gift-toting-guest, without the benefit of a resident chef/cook, I actually manage to get my cooking done AND entertain AND clean up - it's really all about planning and, I must confess,  "I get by with a little help from my friends."  

   I haven't included any recipes (email me for any requests) but I think I've devised a pretty well organized week-by-week Thanksgiving event.

  The key is to LISTS: A shopping list AND the what sometimes seems like the never ending ToDo list.

WEEK 1  (Nov. 9th - 15th) 

1. Confirm your guest count. (There's usually at least one stray so count up.)
2. Travel, lodging arrangements for out-of-towners.
3. Choose your recipes. Try Epicurious.com  and celebrations.com .
   
4. Divie up the side dishes, desserts, etc. among your guests. Have specifics or even   your own recipes to share.
5. Make your shopping list. (Check your pantry before buying yet another box of rosemary.) Buy containers, more foil, collect small shopping bags for leftovers and care packages. Shop early even though you're bound to go running back for something - it's just the way..
   

TIP: Go light on hor d'oeurves. It's going to be a big meal.

WEEK 2 (Nov. 16th - 22nd)

 

1. Table: Count dishes, utensils, glasses (tumblers and wine), carving knife, platters, covered dishes, tablecloth, and napkins (while you're at it toss the stained linens!)
2. Confirm your guest count.
3. Got enough chairs? Need a high chair? Need an extra table? A large coffee maker? Borrow.

WEEK of Thanksgiving (Nov 23rd - 25th)

 
Don't forget to defrost turkey! Here are some quick guidelines for thawing!
 
MONDAY:

1. Decor - order flowers, centerpiece, or create your own with tea light candles, fall leaves, brightly colored corn and gourds! By the way, don't feel obligated  to turn everything into orange and brown. For more ideas visit celebrations.com  or 1-800-Flowers. 
2. Prepare the side dishes that can be frozen and thawed day of.

 

DAD TIP: Unless he's out hunting down the turkey make him a ToDo list and tape it to the bathroom mirror.

 
TUESDAY:
 

1. Run back to the store TODAY for any last minute ingredients. Pick up ice if you have an extra freezer.
2. Prepare baked desserts before - pies, cookies...
3. Shlep the extra chairs and table up from the basement or garage (wipe them down well before unless cobwebs are part of your décor!

 

WEDNESDAY:

1. Set the table.
2. Prepare drink bar: ice bucket, cocktail napkins, plastic (for the kids)
3. A Buffet? Consider the traffic flow; plates first, bundle utensils w/ napkins, appropriate serving utensils
4. Pick up any orders from the baker, the grocer, the candlestick maker
5. Make sure the turkey is thawing well!
6. Prepare your stuffing but do NOT stuff the bird until you're cooking it TOMORROW!
7. Set your alarm clock for 6AM.

TURKEY DAY!
 

1. Get the turkey in the oven! Follow packaging instructions for timing and your own, your mother-in-law's, friend's, in my case, ex-husband's best recipe. The turkey is the easiest to cook (remove the stuffing and refrigerate asap)! Make sure you allow at least an hour after cooking the turkey for it to arrive at room temp.
2. Defrost or prepare your side dishes that require cooking.
3. Now that you have about 2'x2' more room in your fridge chill the white wine, beer and soft drinks (or, weather permitting, put outside.)
4. Salad. You can actually prepare this early and place in the fridge if there's any room. Place a dampened paper towel on top to keep crisp.
5. Plate the desserts and prep the coffee and tea pot.
6. Don't forget the cranberry sauce!

CLEAN UP TIME!
 
Generally I'm cleaning as I cook and all's pretty tidy for a while. Before anyone arrives the dishwasher gets emptied, the garbage bag gets replaced, and my counters  are clear of most everything and ready for the stacks of dirty dinner dishes.
 
Any pots or pans that are used to cook right before serving go in the sink to soak  and soak, and soak.
 
While everyone is digesting your sumptuous meal get the dishwasher loaded with dinnerware and run it.
 
Pack up the leftovers.
 
TIP: Don't kill yourself cleaning every last crumb. Put away the food and get the dishwasher loaded - again. Tomorrow's another day of a long weekend. (And maybe, just maybe if you decide to sleep in on Friday you might get lucky -  "someone" else might tidy up the rest. ; )

KID TIPS:
 

Let the kids help you bake BUT if it's too hectic to have them around the kitchen let them create the placemats.

Have them pre-select some games to play in another room while the adults are schmoozing before dinner or dessert.  

Put out their clothes in the morning.  

Get the kid's involved. They can take coats, help with the younger kids, ...  
 
 
AND... lest we forget, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for having family and friends to love and enjoy, a roof over our heads, food on our tables, for every effort we make towards peace everywhere.
 
FYI: My ex and I have sat at one another's table more than once. He's suggested recipes, intervened when the gravy got gloppy. I give thanks that we remain very good friends and that our son Jake reaps the benefit of having two very loving parents who both, now, know how to celebrate!

 



 

 

If you sound like your mother, guess what?

After reading Ashley's blog post at her "Confessions of A First Time Mother" I had to laugh remembering the many times over the past 17 years when I would hear myself either uttering, thinking, espousing phrases of my own mom - those I had vowed never to repeat, EVER!

We all set out to be either different or better - after all, aren't we???

Turns out that some of our mom's "words of wisdom" which we locked away to safeguard our families from just seep blast out of our mouths.

At the most likely moments we're spewing:

"Am I talking to a brick wall?"

"How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?"

"Are you going out dressed like that?"

"I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing! If everyone jumped off a cliff would you do it, too?!"

"If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert."

"If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside."

"You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear."

"Over my dead body!"

Forgive yourself. No, forgive your mom AND forgive yourself. When you recognize your mom in your admonishing moments just understand that these insidious, genetically programmed utterances are centuries old and will live on and on.

I'd give anything to see my mom again, with a smirk on her face as she hears me passing on her "words of wisdom" to Jake, who will pass them on himself (except his kids may have phones actually implanted in their ears!).

Go ahead. Add some of your own most quotable mom quotes. And laugh.

L'Shanah Tova - May your new year and your memories be happy & sweet

This year Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) begins at sundown on Friday, September 18 and ends at nightfall on Sunday September 20. On Friday evening and Saturday Jews around the world observe this holiest of holidays ending 10 days later with Yom Kippur.

During these Jewish holidays we traditionally attend synagogue in prayer repenting the sins of our past year and making peace with those we may have wronged in order to begin a new and sweeter year for ourselves, our family, friends, community and the world.

Families gather at sundown on Rosh Hashanah for traditional meals and depending upon your origin, whether eastern Europe (Ashkenazi), southern Europe (Sephardic), or Mid-Eastern, the menus may consist of fish, meat, poultry, vegetable, grains, soup, kugels, knishes, and always the sweet - a round challah , an apple dipped in honey  all symbolizing the sweetness of life - and ALL prepared, every year by Grandma.

My memories of my family celebrations are rich with the pungent aroma of her filling meals. Just opening the lobby door of my grandparents apartment building in Williamsburg, Brookyn or, on alternate years in the Bronx, brought the familiar mixture of smells of chicken soup, brisket, the baking of gefilte fish, challah and cookies. My apronned grandmother who probably cooked all week, stood with sweat on her brow stirring pots, ladling, and shuffling pans of delicious food to serve in her cramped living room at an elongated family table (supplemented with wooden bridge tables and chairs)  set for at least 13. Unless you were seated nearest to the kitchen the only way to leave the crowded table would be by crawling under it.  Since the men were the least likely to be helping they occupied these pinned positions and we, the children, along with our mothers and aunts would be responsible for carrying the hot bowls of soup, finding room for the endless platters of everything else - and of course, clearing and again passing the dishes.

I can't remember a moment when my grandmother actually sat down. She was the Chef du Jour and Maitre 'D. She was responsible for who wanted what and supervised as the women shlepped back and forth between her kitchen and table and back again.

My younger cousin and I were always "the chosen" dishwashers. There was no dishwasher! - just kosher soap, sponge and plenty of dish towels. Standing on a step stool  I would wash, Sheri would dry and though under the scrutiny of our mothers, we never failed to splash  flood the linoleum floor and soak ourselves, all the while popping cookies in our mouths as dessert was making its way on to platters. Sheri and I laugh even today recalling my grandmother's Yiddish rants as she mopped up.

One of my best memories was, needing to burn off the meal, repeatedly jumping on and off my grandparent's bed. The slatted bed would inevitably collapse, bringing my grandfather and father, cigars in hand, rushing in to admonish and reset the bed. That I can remember, it was their only role.

After consuming ridiculous amounts of delicious food, belly laughs, and a few courses of "normal" family drama, we would leave Brooklyn, stuffed like pigs to the gills, for the long ride back to Queens (the only time my father consented to ride on a holiday.) We carried with us those same smells we encountered when we arrived - once back at home needing seltzer, Alka Seltzer or Pepto Bismol to help digest the Rosh Hashanah meal and evening with our family.

We carry with us traditions, share memories and create new ones  as we celebrate each year.

L'Shanah Tova to all!

Kvell always - in all ways that you can.

To " kvel " in the Yiddish language of Jewish culture, as with others worldwide,  is  to announce (in a pretty "loud" way) what we are feeling to anyone even remotely interested (with varying degrees of our sensitivity, guilt, and discretion), that our children or spouse  are everything  we could have hoped for or more. We CROW!

Whether they're sitting up (finally!), running into your arms (grandma & grandpa !), twisting their words (cleanpiper?), making their first or 51st soccer goal, dancing in the San Francisco Ballet, a promotion, ...you get the gist.

Truth is, we should always applaud our children and spouse. Not  easy when they're a worry for one small/big reason or another. But,... not appealing to their own sense of self in a positive way only makes issues spiral. Your worry makes them worry more. Know the outcome of  **worry?

Kvell whenever you can - don't wait! Let your family know how proud you are to have them in your life. They don't always live up to our expectations (or, needs) - it's about giving them all opportunities to be proud, independent of you, and who they are  - their share in their glory; to be  more responsible for themselves AND to feel that they're loved - no matter who they are - no matter who we are.

Don't wait.

** If you have  a real worry, talk and consult with friends, family, clergy, or professionals.

Written by Joan Goldner, a Jewish mother who, in all honesty, does quite her share of kvetching but who never ceases to kvell (unless she wants to slap him upside his head.)

Geez! I sound just like my mother - taken to a 'different'  level, I hope.

L'Shanah Tova - May your new year and your memories be happy & sweet

This year Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) begins at sundown on Friday, September 18 and ends at nightfall on Sunday September 20. On Friday evening and Saturday Jews around the world observe this holiest of holidays ending 10 days later with Yom Kippur.

During these Jewish holidays we traditionally attend synagogue in prayer repenting the sins of our past year and making peace with those we may have wronged in order to begin a new and sweeter year for ourselves, our family, friends, community and the world.

Families gather at sundown on Rosh Hashanah for traditional meals and depending upon your origin, whether eastern Europe (Ashkenazi), southern Europe (Sephardic), or Mid-Eastern, the menus may consist of fish, meat, poultry, vegetable, grains, soup, kugels, knishes, and always the sweet - a round challah , an apple dipped in honey  all symbolizing the sweetness of life - and ALL prepared, every year by Grandma.

My memories of my family celebrations are rich with the pungent aroma of her filling meals. Just opening the lobby door of my grandparents apartment building in Williamsburg, Brookyn or, on alternate years in the Bronx, brought the familiar mixture of smells of chicken soup, brisket, the baking of gefilte fish, challah and cookies. My apronned grandmother who probably cooked all week, stood with sweat on her brow stirring pots, ladling, and shuffling pans of delicious food to serve in her cramped living room at an elongated family table (supplemented with wooden bridge tables and chairs)  set for at least 13. Unless you were seated nearest to the kitchen the only way to leave the crowded table would be by crawling under it.  Since the men were the least likely to be helping they occupied these pinned positions and we, the children, along with our mothers and aunts would be responsible for carrying the hot bowls of soup, finding room for the endless platters of everything else - and of course, clearing and again passing the dishes.

I can't remember a moment when my grandmother actually sat down. She was the Chef du Jour and Maitre 'D. She was responsible for who wanted what and supervised as the women shlepped back and forth between her kitchen and table and back again.

My younger cousin and I were always "the chosen" dishwashers. There was no dishwasher! - just kosher soap, sponge and plenty of dish towels. Standing on a step stool  I would wash, Sheri would dry and though under the scrutiny of our mothers, we never failed to splash  flood the linoleum floor and soak ourselves, all the while popping cookies in our mouths as dessert was making its way on to platters. Sheri and I laugh even today recalling my grandmother's Yiddish rants as she mopped up.

One of my best memories was, needing to burn off the meal, repeatedly jumping on and off my grandparent's bed. The slatted bed would inevitably collapse, bringing my grandfather and father, cigars in hand, rushing in to admonish and reset the bed. That I can remember, it was their only role.

After consuming ridiculous amounts of delicious food, belly laughs, and a few courses of "normal" family drama, we would leave Brooklyn, stuffed like pigs to the gills, for the long ride back to Queens (the only time my father consented to ride on a holiday.) We carried with us those same smells we encountered when we arrived - once back at home needing seltzer, Alka Seltzer or Pepto Bismol to help digest the Rosh Hashanah meal and evening with our family.

We carry with us traditions, share memories and create new ones  as we celebrate each year.

L'Shanah Tova to all!

Fundraisers Flock to BusyBodyBook

A new school year always means fundraising.

The current economy is also wreaking havoc on our school budgets creating even greater need to raise money for invaluable curriculum, activities, after school, and resources to help our children achieve, progress and enjoy.

Fundraisers and parents, fed up with the traditional fundraising products, are now turning to other and more essential products and BusyBodyBook has become a sensational, win-win for school and other organization's fundraisers.

Busy we are and busier we become.

Organizing our lives and family time, ever an issue, requires products that deliver... and without it costing an arm and a leg.

BusyBodyBook seems to be the answer to a mom's prayer - easily and efficiently organizing her multiple schedules, providing the easiest and best view of potential calendar conflicts, and helping all to remember their own important dates and obligations - also preventing overbooking - a no-no for the kids and  today, our family budgets.

And,  earning 40% of sales,  fundraisers reap the reward of offering parents, congregations, members... an item they REALLY need. Imagine that!

Any parent or organization may request our Fundraising Program info by emailing us at fundraising@busybodybook.com.

It's easy - which is what BusyBodyBook is all about!

It's About Your Time!

Can't Live Without My BBB Planner!

To say I love my BusyBodyBook planner/organizer is an understatement. I'm about to start my third planner, and I'm hooked! When I started using the BusyBodyBook with it's unique 5-column grid system, I had never been able to stick with a planner. Oh, I always started out using it -- filling in not only appointments and deadlines, but lists of things to do, menu ideas etc. But my resolve to use a planner in the way its intending always fizzled after a few months.

Not so with the BusyBodyBook. Perhaps because when I got my first one, I had more to keep up with -- more kids, more deadlines, more appointments. But I think it was the user-friendly format that opened up new ways of using it that caused me to become dependent on it.

For me, the layout is ideal.

The right side of the page holds a week's worth of the 5-column grid. I use the first column for appointments and regularly scheduled activities. The second column is devoted to keeping track of my hours for the freelance work I do. Column three is for keeping track of blog stuff. Columns four and five are sort of for overlap. When I'm on my game, I use the last one for meal planning, but that doesn't always happen (however it does make a lot more sense to keep it there than on the back of shopping list, which is the other place it ends up).

The left side of the book is blank on the first half and has a lined to-do list (complete with a place to check it off) on the right side. This side of the page gets my brainstorms, my hope-to-do list of household chores and errands, reviews that need to be written etc etc.

I personally use the Aug - Aug version because I am always getting my act together at Back-to-School time.

Jennifer Donovan, 5 Minutes For Mom
Posted on Amazon.com

Addicted to BusyBodyBook!

One year later, I'm COMPLETELY addicted to my BusyBodyBook and just ordered
my second one. 

Thank you so much for developing such a valuable resource for families!

Best,
Jessica McFadden
A Parent In Silver Spring

Cell Phones - Absolutely ANTI-Social, in my opinion anyway

I was pretty much an early adopter of a cell phone though few knew. I can remember actually feeling somewhat embarrassed using  it, practically hiding.  For years, in outside sales in NYC I relied on phone booths (remember those?!) on the streets,ducking into hotels or restaurants - to stay in touch with clients and my office.  But phone booths began disappearing on the streets of Manhattan just around the time I my son was born. I vowed to use it only for calling home to check in with his nanny, business when I couldn't find a pay phone, and of course for emergencies only when driving.

So much for history.

My own, and I hope other's, present pet peeves:

1. Safety when using whether walking or in a car
2. Lack of downtime
3. Complete and utterly annoying accessibility
4. Rudeness
5. Less communicating with our family

The hazards of using a cell phone (no, I'm not speaking of brain tumors) are HUGE issues for both the user and the innocent. While there are plenty of tips for better driving while receiving or dialing I've yet to find those suggesting use only if  at a dead stop, in park.

How many times have you: missed a turn, ran a light, backed into a shopper (almost, I hope), drove over a shopper (hope NEVER). Talk about blind spots!

While we walk, talking or dialing are we really paying ANY attention to those we walk with, other pedestrians, curbs, stop lights, potholes - open manholes?

When's the last time you had free, uninterrupted time to just think, talk to yourself? Wherever we are there's no longer the opportunity to tune out the world and have some quiet, peaceful time. The supermarket, gym, commuting, the beach, ... today there's no escaping  ignoring the ring, text, or god forbid, email.  Thank goodness planes are cell-free but I'll bet there's  more Xanax popped on planes now than ever before - and not for fear of flying, for cell phone withdrawal.

And what's happened to those moments to snooze or diffuse on our train or bus commute to/from work? When's the last time you finished an article in the newspaper, a paragraph in your book, a personal thought! without someone else's one-sided, inane conversation disturbing your brief moment of reverie?

For me, one of the best times to have a conversation with the kids used to be when driving. Captive, private moments between activities were a juicy opportunity to find out what they were thinking, doing, thinking of doing. Some of the most entertaining moments were those overhearing the  tweens, teens in the back of the car, oblivious to me. Now they spend most of this precious time texting at lightening speed to their world outside of the car. This at meal time too! No Way! Family time with teenagers is practically non-existent in my home these days now that Jake has "wheels", school, afterschool activities, part-time job, sports... Meal time is sacred. Anything with a battery that rings, vibrates, bleeps and apparently requires immediate attention is left outside the kitchen.

Just yesterday I saw a mom pushing her toddler on a swing - one arm to her ear with her phone. For god sakes, why can't we be present and accounted for in a playground!!

This we call "social networking." I call it anti-social when a friend at GNO sits with iPhone on lap pretending to listen to the table conversation while constantly glancing down for her next text. YUCK!

Personally I think we were better off when we were all  tethered to corded phones safely and privately conversing  in our home or office.

School DAZED???

It's that time of year again - kiss the lazy days of summer good-bye.

Back to school, it is!

Now you're organizing: Carpool, kid's soccer, homework, garage sale, the fall block party, meal planning, PTA meetings, work projects, Halloween, winter holidays, the New Year...

Need some relief of the anxiety & chaos of back to school?

There's really nothing like BusyBodyBook's Weekly GRID to easily plan, schedule
& coordinate and view your family member's activities 'side by side.'

"....the more I use it (and the busier I get) the more I love
my BusyBodyBook!"  Jennifer Donovan, 5 Minutes for Mom

Ease yourself back into reality with a BusyBodyBook organizer.

(And don't forget to schedule some special "me" time too! You'll be needing it.)

Hope it's a wonderful fall for all.